I want sole
access to my kids
One of the most fundamental features of Islam’s vision for society is upholding the ties of kinship, particularly between children and their parents—whom they are obligated to treat with excellence.
“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good…” [4:36]
This fundamental is sometimes put in danger by some cultural practices and norms. We have noticed that there has been an increase in the number of Muslim couples turning to an anti-Islamic practice found in their local cultures, of denying meaningful relationships between their children and their ex-spouse, without a valid Islamic reason or due process.
This is a grave injustice (dhulm) on three levels:
Dhulm against the deprived parent
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: “Whoever separates a mother from her child, Allah will separate him from his loved ones on the Day of Resurrection.”
Allāh, the Most High, said: “‘I am al-Rahmān (the Most Merciful). I have created al-rahim (ties of kinship) and derived its name from My name. Whoever joins them, I shall join with them. And whoever severs them, I shall cut them off.’”
Dhulm against the children
But no, by your Lord, they will not [truly] believe until they make you, [O Muhammad], judge concerning that over which they dispute among themselves and then find within themselves no discomfort from what you have judged and submit in [full, willing] submission. [4:65]
Then is it the judgement of [the time of] ignorance they desire? But who is better than Allah in judgement for a people who are certain [in faith]. [5:50]
And whoever does not judge by what Allah has revealed – then it is those who are the disbelievers. [5:44]
A Toxic Practice
The correct way of arguing this is via a trustworthy, recognised Islamic body that deals with disputes such as these. This is not about getting back together with your ex-spouse, but doing what is best for all parties involved—particularly the children—in this life and the next.
Do NOT take this matter lightly. Denying meaningful access to children without the proper process is a tremendous sin. If you let it linger, it will torture your own heart first and foremost, severely reduce the life chances of your children, and if you die before resolving this in an Islamic way you will be under threat of punishment in your grave and in the hellfire, may Allah protect you.